As clear as Black & White

Rd 11 v Collingwood

Well, I may have been a touch premature in calling a 2-9 ratio for the Dees prior to the game on Monday.

The logic used possibly didn’t stand up in the manner I’d expected it would. We didn’t get up for the Queen, Mark Neeld didn’t know the Pies as inside-outedly as I hoped and the surge in fan mail choking Colin Garland’s letterbox obviously disrupted his training and mindset leaving him flat for the game and goalless.

These are, obviously, the reasons we lost.

But let’s get stuck in with a look at the coverage and how that’s travelling.

Who decided to hire Brett Kirk? Channel Seven, this is a bigger mistake than when your news crossed live to Macquarie Private Wealth and caught staff looking up soft porn. But honestly, what’s going on with that man? He’s off with the fairies 24/7. His pre-game address resembled that of a two year old’s, the words are there you just don’t quite know how to use them.

I’m going to have to continue this strand of thought and exercise the demons relating to Bruce McAveny. His obsession with the ‘critical next goal’ is wearing thin. 

Bruce, when the Melbourne Demons kick a goal against the Collingwood Magpies to bring them within 30 points, the ‘next goal’ is not as ‘critical’ as you might think. Had the goal brought Melbourne within five points of Collingwood, given them momentum and there be two minutes left on the clock then yes, that would deem the next goal critical in nature. It’s all about context.

Other notable points:
Mark Neeld’s new game plan. I have to admit I hadn’t really clued in to what it actually was; now I see it’s the slow but sure inversion of positions on the ground. Jared Rivers joined Colin Garland in the forward line this week. Soon we’ll have all backs forward and all forwards back. Hey, it worked for Essendon. I say let’s see how far we can take it.

I will now campaign more diligently for same-sex marriage if Nathan Jones will meet me half way. That man is killing it this year. And Nathan, if you’re not interested in sharing matrimonies with me don’t worry, I don’t know where you live or the best place to wait in the bushes.

So the game was the game.

50-odd points down early in the second quarter brought that stress related foul-tasting bile to the back of my throat, and if I’m honest it was far more pleasant than what was unfolding before me. It could have finished as two seagulls after a chip usually does, messily. But to the crowds good fortune the seagulls sat down, put their wings away, resolved their differences and managed to make some sort of game out of it.

We played well at various stages, dominating for periods and showing what our boys are capable of. The problem being that Collingwood are too good and any lapse in concentration on our part meant a four-goal banquet served up on a silver plate of defensive despair.

Our game had glimpses but didn’t really seem to offer much in terms of a real contest.

What we did come away with however is a budget related question; do we have enough to splash out on some training wheels for Sam Blease? Maybe there’s some leftovers from the Debt Demolition? That poor guy got plenty of the ball but multi-tasking was a stretch too far, standing up and running at the same time...nup, can't do it. 

Next week a BYE, at least we won’t lose! 

Images: heraldsun.com.au, zimbio.com