The more Giant they are the harder they fall.

Rd 13 v GWS

Phewf!

A massive crowd at the G, you can almost hear the roar.
Tsk, tsk Dees fans.

Well we did it. Go us. We’re Giant beaters and it feels good. It doesn’t matter that they’re a first year franchise with players that aren’t legally allowed to drink; I had no sympathy for the Giants once we started laying down the pain. When we get these moments we have to savour them, and savour them we did, all 20,000 of us. Massive crowd. But what a great 20,000 when booing young Thomas Scully in unison. The roar of the crowd when Jordie McKenzie marked over the top of Scully was great, we were almost as happy as when we had the number one draft pick.

I should make it quite clear that if ol’ Kev (and he is old) came to me with a lazy 6 mil I’d be doing a lot more than deserting my team for the ravishing surrounds that are Greater Western Sydney, “Land of the Falafel”. No hard feelings here Tom.

I should also mention the doubts I had pre-game based on the competitive form of GWS this season and the lack there of it from Melbourne. But it’s ok. Winning meant I didn’t cry. My mascara didn’t run.

Now. Nathan Jones. You’re not off the hook yet, I’m still up for marriage if you are.

Colin Garland and Jared Rivers, you can be part of the wedding party if interested, you earnt that right following your newfound obsessions with kicking goals.

Also of note is the return of Flash Davey. Dunno where you’ve been mate but welcome back, it’s lovely to have you here, sit down, make yourself comfortable and I’ll get some bikkies and tea. He reminded me of an overexcited moth chasing a firefly…a leather firefly. (I decided any reference to a jack russell chasing a ball would be a touch cliché so go with me on that one).

Whilst Davey was rediscovering some valuable form from seasons past, Mitch Clarke was getting kneed in the face by Magner. James, I’m gonna go ahead and offer a little word of advice, this of course coming from someone who’s never played sport anywhere near the standard you do, don’t knock out your team’s best forward. It doesn’t help you, it doesn’t help the fans and Mitch Clarke is a big unit that you don’t want holding a grudge.

What was most pleasing out of the game was how Melbourne decided to take a stand and control a game they could very easily have slipped on. Watching them run, carry and move the ball quickly was a sight for sore eyes. And with that Melbourne winter chill, sore eyes were the flavour of the day.

So we got the job done and that’s always great to watch but also of note has to be the dressing down I received from a grandmother early in the third quarter. Now when I say ‘dressing down from a grandmother’ it’s ok, no children have to avert their eyes, this blog is G-rated. What I mean is that she took umbrage at my good-natured vocal attacks directed towards Scully and offered some alternative opinions that I might like to adopt. I didn’t.

Sam Blease came in for a bit of stick in the last update.
Obviously still not over it.
Jack Watts 50 games, great work mate.

Next week Lions at the Gabba. Could be an alright match that one. At least we can hope that they won’t smack us in the same vein they did round 1. I won’t be flying up there to check it out…unless someone wants to offer me an all expenses paid trip? Anyone?

Give it some thought and get back to me.

Go Dees.

For more writing from cfr check out:

http://hiddencitysecrets.com.au/

http://2pagestory.blogspot.com.au/

Photos: http://www.melbournefc.com.au

As clear as Black & White

Rd 11 v Collingwood

Well, I may have been a touch premature in calling a 2-9 ratio for the Dees prior to the game on Monday.

The logic used possibly didn’t stand up in the manner I’d expected it would. We didn’t get up for the Queen, Mark Neeld didn’t know the Pies as inside-outedly as I hoped and the surge in fan mail choking Colin Garland’s letterbox obviously disrupted his training and mindset leaving him flat for the game and goalless.

These are, obviously, the reasons we lost.

But let’s get stuck in with a look at the coverage and how that’s travelling.

Who decided to hire Brett Kirk? Channel Seven, this is a bigger mistake than when your news crossed live to Macquarie Private Wealth and caught staff looking up soft porn. But honestly, what’s going on with that man? He’s off with the fairies 24/7. His pre-game address resembled that of a two year old’s, the words are there you just don’t quite know how to use them.

I’m going to have to continue this strand of thought and exercise the demons relating to Bruce McAveny. His obsession with the ‘critical next goal’ is wearing thin. 

Bruce, when the Melbourne Demons kick a goal against the Collingwood Magpies to bring them within 30 points, the ‘next goal’ is not as ‘critical’ as you might think. Had the goal brought Melbourne within five points of Collingwood, given them momentum and there be two minutes left on the clock then yes, that would deem the next goal critical in nature. It’s all about context.

Other notable points:
Mark Neeld’s new game plan. I have to admit I hadn’t really clued in to what it actually was; now I see it’s the slow but sure inversion of positions on the ground. Jared Rivers joined Colin Garland in the forward line this week. Soon we’ll have all backs forward and all forwards back. Hey, it worked for Essendon. I say let’s see how far we can take it.

I will now campaign more diligently for same-sex marriage if Nathan Jones will meet me half way. That man is killing it this year. And Nathan, if you’re not interested in sharing matrimonies with me don’t worry, I don’t know where you live or the best place to wait in the bushes.

So the game was the game.

50-odd points down early in the second quarter brought that stress related foul-tasting bile to the back of my throat, and if I’m honest it was far more pleasant than what was unfolding before me. It could have finished as two seagulls after a chip usually does, messily. But to the crowds good fortune the seagulls sat down, put their wings away, resolved their differences and managed to make some sort of game out of it.

We played well at various stages, dominating for periods and showing what our boys are capable of. The problem being that Collingwood are too good and any lapse in concentration on our part meant a four-goal banquet served up on a silver plate of defensive despair.

Our game had glimpses but didn’t really seem to offer much in terms of a real contest.

What we did come away with however is a budget related question; do we have enough to splash out on some training wheels for Sam Blease? Maybe there’s some leftovers from the Debt Demolition? That poor guy got plenty of the ball but multi-tasking was a stretch too far, standing up and running at the same time...nup, can't do it. 

Next week a BYE, at least we won’t lose! 

Images: heraldsun.com.au, zimbio.com

Chalk it up!

Rd 10 v Essendon

Let me start by very happily eating a big piece of humble pie. Last week I suggested, and I quote, that Melbourne ‘Take the water bottle.’ For those who haven’t read the last post this relates to my suggestion that the Dees snuggle up in bed and wait for GWS to visit before trying to win a game.

Yum, I’m humbly full.

Also of note was the decision by the powers that be at Melbourne and Essendon to ignore my coach swap suggestion…look how that turned out Mr Hird and Mr Thompson.

I had a thought at the conclusion of this round; Melbourne, Brisbane and Port Adelaide beat Essendon, West Coast and Carlton respectfully, maybe we could recognize this as Charity round? We seem to have every other kind of round these days so why not one where premiership contenders give wooden spoon contenders and their supporters a week of joy. If nothing else it would be a very nice thing to do.

So the game, it was great. The first half was marred by difficult conditions, skills were lacking, but this proved a good lead-in for the Auskick game at half time. The two were almost inseparable. So much so that I required confirmation from my brother that the Auskick kids had indeed left the ground and Melbourne and Essendon returned.

Early in the third quarter I sneezed; when I turned my attention back to the game Essendon had kicked three goals. Anticipating the worst I went and purchased the worst, why do I love MCG hot dogs so much? They'd have to be in the top three wastes of money. The only thing that beats them are an 82 minute call to Bangladesh with PhoneCardPoint and the rights to five Stephen King short stories.

But this hot dog tasted different. It was better than normal. Was it the lightly drizzled mustard I’d so eloquently applied? Maybe it was the decision to drown the sugary bread in liters of sauce. The mixed offal (commonly known as a sausage) certainly didn’t have any noticeable differences. I think the reason it tasted so good was because I wasn’t interested in it. Instead I was solely on the Demons going hard at the ball. Wanting to prove something. Wanting to…wait a minute…win? I have to extend thanks to Essendon for giving us every opportunity to do so.

I can also only assume Michael Hurley had eaten something ridiculously greasy pre-game because that poor bloke couldn’t catch a cold let alone the football. On this topic, kicking 6.16 would leave the Bombers feeling pretty empty. As one fan put it rather confusingly after the game “They didn’t play well enough to win the game but Essendon played well enough to lose it.” Playing ‘well enough to lose’ is mixing a lethal grammar concoction of positive and negative.

So we’ve chalked one up and I’m absolutely stoked. I don’t care how messy the game was, how ridiculous some of the errors made were or the fact that 94% of the fans at the ground donned red and black. It’s a win and we’ll take it.

If I’m being honest, next week’s looking like a shoe-in too for three reasons. One: It’s our one ‘big game’ of the year on Queen’s Birthday (and if you can’t get yourself up for the Queen who can you for?). Two: Mark Neeld knows the Pies inside out and he can now be classed a ‘winning coach.’ Three: The new Buddy Franklin of the comp Colin Garland. Give him a weeks training to settle into his new position and 13.4 will be a broken record come Monday.

2-9 HERE WE COME!!!